Tips on First Date Do’s and Don’ts

So you’ve been successful on the Curvydate website and finally nabbed what might turn out to be Mr. Right, but… Holy Moly wait a minute, it’s been a while since you were last on the dating scene and you are as prepared as turkeys are for thanksgiving. Fear not as help is at hand. Follow these rules to avoid any ‘faux pas’ and to ensure that your date is one you’ll both remember for a long time.

Do…

Make an effort to dress well and be on time.
You only get one chance at a first impression so you might as well make it a good one. It is a fact that we all judge people by their looks. Try and dress to suit the occassion. Turning up like you just got out of bed will do nothing for your confidence. Worse still, it is disrespectful to your date as it shows you don’t value him enough to make an effort. Dress semi formally so you don’t come across as being too keen and desperate but neither do you come across as being a slob by being too casual. Make sure you are on time for the date. This shows you value both his and your time. There is no such thing as being fashionably late.

Pay attention to your date.
Listen to what he has to say and show interest in him. You can then see if you have similar values and whether you would like to have a relationship with him. By no means should you rush to conclusions on the basis of just one date or begin to wonder if he would make a good husband but you can begin to form an impression of who he is. Be aware though that just as you are on your best behaviour so is he. Most guys talk alot about themselves anyway so you shouldn’t find it too hard to find out where he sees himself in a few years time or what his career goals are. This is not a licence to cross examine him as good conversations should eventually lead there. Relax and enjoy your date, as if you are having fun, he probably is as well.

Observe how he treats you and others.
How is he with the waiter? Did he tip? Did he look at your eyes or was he more enamoured by your chest when he said hello? Was he patient with the restaurant staff even though the meal took a bit longer than it should? Is he flashing his cash about and trying a bit too hard to impress. Does it seem that he’s trying to buy your love? There is no doubt that money is important in having a decent relationship as it affords you the ability to have the finer things in life and is usually a result of drive and ambition. Love and kindness though are just as important and while you cannot tell on a first date if he is a mean person, note how he treats you and others. Hopefully you will meet a gentleman not a ruffian on your date.

Ensure you are safe.
This afterall is a first date so technically, even though you have chatted online and spoken on the phone, you are still meeting a stranger. Until you actually meet him, you are not 100% sure he is who he claims he is. Make sure you meet in a public place and let someone know where and when you will be out. Have a friend ring you about half an hour into your date to make sure all is well and have them phone you again when you are supposed to be back indoors. If you think something is not right, make your polite excuses and leave. Follow your intuition. Better to be safe than sorry.

Don’t…
Over indulge in alcohol.
Yes a bit of alcohol may help you relax but believe me, going overboard is nothing but trouble. Know your limits…and then drink much less. There are few things worse than gaining false confidence off alcohol and then behaving like a prat. Trying to impress by knocking back shot after shot will do you no good in the long term. In the short term, you could end up sick by a gutter. It won’t be a surprise that most respectable men will not find a drunk attractive you won’t get that call for a second date. You could also leave yourself vulnerable and at the mercy of a stranger and unable to drive back home.

Talk about Sex, Money, Religion or Politics.
This should be self explanatory. These are topics that are more than likely to lead to arguments. You will have enough time to talk about why you think Boris Johnsons blonde mop top is the height of cool but that is a topic for another time when you’ve gotten to know your date that bit better. Neither should you steer the conversation towards sex, (he thinks of it on average every 5 seconds remember?)He will view you as game if you go down that route. Talk too much about money and you come across as shallow or worse – a gold digger and religion is a definate no no. Having similar belief values is fine but trying to explain that Methuselah lived to be over 900 years…on a first date? Sista Puh-lease!

Neither should you talk about your Exes!
As you begin to become an item, you will have lots of things to talk about including your exes. Bring up this conversation on a first date though and it might be interpreted that you are not yet over him which is why you have him on the brain. Alternatively, it could make your new date seem insecure as he might wonder how he measures up to your ex. The reason you are on a date is that things didn’t work out between you and your ex so don’t ruin things by bringing him into your conversations. Start afresh, get to know your new man and his interests. Learn from the past but look towards the future with optimism.

Be someone you’re not.
While we all are on our best behaviour around those we find an attraction to, try not to be something you are not. Remember that if he falls for who he thinks you are, rather than who you actually are, when you revert back to the real you, then there is bound to be a problem with the relationship. A relationship based on lies cannot stand the test of time so it’s better he falls for the real you. Rather he knows that you are a rabid carnivore that howls like a wolf in the middle of the night if deprived of meat for any period of time than he thinks you are both vegetarian. Imagine what’ll happen when he plans the next date at his favourite veggie restaurant!

Most importantly though is to make him want more of you so don’t overstay your welcome. Leave him wanting more of you. Have interesting topics to avoid any awkward silence. Laugh at his jokes and pay him sincere compliments. Compliments you really mean. Whatever you do stay safe and have fun.

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and are included with every reproduction.

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